METRO-GOLDWYN-MAYERLEGALLY BLONDEKaren McCullah Lutz & Kirsten SmithShooting DraftJuly 31, 20009/1/00 (Blue)9/18/00 (Pink)

9/1/2000 Revision (Blue)1.INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - DAY1"HEAD OVER HEELS" by the Go-Go's plays as we wind through aflock of abstract, silky, golden strands — PULLING BACK, todiscover that the strands are hair on a BLONDE GIRL's head.But not just any blonde girl, a girl in Delta Gamma, theblondest, most beautiful sorority at USC.**We PULL BACK further to see that she's signing a handmadecard. She holds it up OVER HER SHOULDER, we see heartsand glitter surrounding and "Good Luck Tonight!" and "Elleand Warner forever!."**She carries the card out of her room and we FOLLOW HER acrossthe hall, into the room of —THREE BLONDE CHEERLEADERS, who stop practicing their pom-pomroutine to sign the card. As they finish, we follow the CardGirl out and into the room of —A BLONDE GIRL IN A TANK TOP and shorts, working out on aStairmaster as "General Hospital" plays on a tiny TV. Shesigns the card while continuing to exercise. We move on, tothe room of—*A BLONDE GIRL MAKING OUT WITH HER BOYFRIEND who stops longenough to sign the card, as her boyfriend nibbles on herneck. She hands the card back and we head into the room of —A BLONDE PARTY GIRL who pours a pink frozen margarita into aglass from the blender, then passes it down to ANOTHER BLONDEGIRL, assembly-line style. The card goes one way, beingsigned, as the drinks go the other.Once the card arrives back in the Card Girl's hands, wefollow her out of the room and down the hall until shereaches the very last and biggest door —She puts a kiss mark on the card, then kneels down and slidesthe card under the door.INT. ELLE'S DELTA GAMMA ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS2The CARD slides into the pink room, hitting the feet ofUNDERDOG, a tiny chihuahua who picks it up in his mouthand trots it over to a pair of perfectly pedicured feet instrappy sandals.An equally perfectly manicured hand with a "Sisters Forever"charm bracelet dangling from the wrist, scoops up Underdog.(CONTINUED)*

29/1/2000 Revision (Blue)CONTINUED:2.2As he rises, we RISE WITH HIM, passing toned, waxed, tannedlegs in pink Prada pedal pushers and a pair of perky boobsencased in a spaghetti-strap top — until we finally reveal amagnificent head of long blonde hair and a sweet, beautifulface. This is ELLE WOODS, 21, the Goddess Queen of DeltaGamma. She talks on a pink, fuzzy phone.ELLE(into the phone)I love you, too!Behind her, a "Go USC" banner is pinned to the pink wall. Astack of "Cosmopolitan"s and "Glamour"s teeters on thedresser. The closet overflows with trendy, designer clothesin a predominance of pink.ELLE (CONT'D)(continuing; into phone)I'll see you tonight.She hangs up and lets out a squeal of joy, kissing Underdog'shead and taking the card out of his mouth. She reads it,touched.ELLE (CONT'D)(continuing)"Elle and Warner forever". Aww.Underdog yips.3INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY - SAME TIME2A Delta Gamma/Sigma Chi barbecue in full swing. Beautifulcollege students drink beer and mingle, trying to figure outwho they're going to sleep with next.The main wall of the living room has been designated as a"Model Wall" of Delta Gamma girls — ELLE smiles at us from aHawaiian Tropic ad and a Miss June USC calendar photo. Acover of an Italian Vogue shows a blonde sexpot MARGOT; a USCcheerleader poster displays a hard-bodied non-blonde SERENAin a pom-pom pose.Serena walks up, fending off an admirer.SERENAJeremy, enough! I am not going to formalwith you.Jeremy slinks off as Margot arrives, agitated.MARGOTCan someone please tell Rick that he isnot the only Sigma Chi with a big penis?(CONTINUED)

9/1/2000 Revision (Blue)CONTINUED:3.3ELLE (O.S.)You guys are so sweet!ELLE, a vision of fluffy blondeness, runs down the stairstoward Serena and Margot, holding the card.ELLE (CONT'D)But I ' m not positive it's gonna happentonight —. SERENAHelloo.he just had lunch with hisgrandmother. You know he got "The Rock".MARGOTWhy else would she have flown in fromNewport? It's not like she'd Fed Ex asix carat diamond.ELLE(excited)You think?SERENAI can't believe you're getting engaged! .The three girls jump up and down, squealing and hugging.ELLEC'mon — you have to help me pick out theperfect outfit.As they head toward the door, Elle spots AMY, a shy girl in aDelta Gamma Pledge sweatshirt, standing alone.ELLE (CONT'D)(continuing)Amy, what's wrong?AMYI don't really — know anyone.ELLE(teasing)That's because you spend too much time inthe library. Come with me.(to Serena and Margot)I'll meet you outside.As they go, Elle leads Amy over to a group of jovial SigmaChi brothers.(CONTINUED)

9/1/2000 Revision (Blue)4.CONTINUED: ( 2 )3ELLE (CONT'D)(continuing)Brandon, Jason, Grant —this is Amy.Why don't you tell her about the time youguys went golfing naked?Elle winks at Amy and.heads off as the guys launch into theirstory.BRANDONIt was hit with wood allGRANTAnd we never ran out of balls —Amy laughs.INT. SUNSET PLAZA BOUTIQUE - DAYSerena and Margot watch as Elle stands in front of a mirror,trying on a Herve Leger white mini-dress. Sexy and ultratight.;ELLEToo demure?MARGOTI think you should go with red. It's thecolor of confidence.ELLEWell, I don't want to look like I knowwhat's coming. . .SERENAI don't understand why you're completelydisregarding your signature color.She holds up a tiny pink slipdress.ELLEHe's proposing! I can't look like Iwould on any date. This is the date. Thenight I'll always remember. I want tolook special. Bridal . . . but not like Isuspect anything.ACROSS THE STOREA SALESWOMAN looks at her cohort.(CONTINUED)

9/1/2000 Revision (Blue)5.CONTINUED:4SALESWOMAN( ' s nothing I love more than a dumbblonde with daddy's plastic.She grabs a dress off the Clearance Sale rack, ripping offthe "HALF PRICE" TAG.ON ELLE AND THE GIRLS. SERENAI can't wait to see you wearing The Rock!Elle looks at them, suddenly concerned.ELLEWhat if — you know — it's not thenight?MARGOTWhy else would he be taking you to TheIvy? You've been dating for a year —it's not like he's trying to impress you.*SERENAElle, you've heard the man pass gas inhis sleep. That practically means you'repre-engaged.The Saleswoman approaches with the dress, kiss-assy smile onher face.SALESWOMANDid you see this one? We just got it inyesterday.Elle fingers the dress, then the new price tag, looking backat the saleswoman, excited.ELLEIs this a low-viscosity rayon?SALESWOMANUh, yes — of course.ELLEWith half-loop top-stitching on the hem?SALESWOMAN(smiling a lie)Absolutely. It's one of a kind.(CONTINUED)***'"*

9/1/2000 Revision (Blue)CONTINUED: ( 2 ) .6. 4Elle hands the dress back to her, no longer pretending to beexcited.ELLEIt's impossible to use a half-looptopstitch on low-viscosity rayon. Itwould snag the fabric. And you didn'tjust get this in, because I remember itfrom the June Vogue a year ago, so ifyou're trying to sell it to me at fullprice, you picked the wrong girl.The saleswoman slinks off, embarrassed.MARGOT(to the saleswoman)Nice try.Elle shakes her head and turns back to the girls as she slipson her Manolo Blahnik sandals, doing one last mirror check,smoothing down her golden mane.ELLE(dramatically)Girls, this is it. In a few hours, I'llbe the future Mrs. Warner Huntington III.5EXT, DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - NIGHTAn attractive male finger presses the doorbell.6INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - FOYER - NIGHT - SAME TIMEAmy peeks through the peephole and turns.AMY(whispering)He's here!Elle, standing nearby with Margot and Serena and severalother DG's, smooths down her dress and takes a deep breath,opening the door to find —WARNER HUNTINGTON, III, 21, tall, chiseled and outrageouslyhandsome. He takes her in, a smile spreading across hisface.WARNERYou're beautiful.ELLESo are you!(CONTINUED)

9/1/2000 Revision (Blue)CONTINUED:.7.6She looks up at him, blushing and completely smitten.kiss. After a moment,-Warner extracts himself.TheyWARNER(nervous)You ready?Her face is awash with devotion.ELLEI am so ready.7EXT. THE IVY - NIGHTWarner and Elle are seated at a cozy table on the patio.Elle takes a sip from her freshly poured champagne flute.Nervous and excited.ELLEHere's to us.Warner is slower to sip his.WARNERThe reason I wanted to come here tonightwas to discuss our future.Elle is on the edge of her seat.ELLEI ' m fully amenable to that discussion.WARNERI mean, we're having a lot of fun now —but things are gonna be different whenI ' m at Harvard Law school is a completelydifferent world. I need to be serious.Of course.ELLEWARNERMy family expects a lot from me. And Iexpect a lot from me. I .plan on runningfor office some day.ELLEAnd I fully support that.(CONTINUED)

79/1/2000 Revision (Blue)CONTINUED:8.7WARNERBut the thing is, if I ' m gonna be asenator by the time I ' m thirty — I can'tkeep dicking around.ELLEI completely agree.WARNERThat's why I think it's time for us to—Elle takes a deep breath, filled with anticipation.WARNER (CONT'D)(continuing) . . . ' .I think we should break up.Elle's champagne glass drops from her hand and CRASHES ontothe patio.What?ELLEElle starts to flush, completely caught off guard.WARNERI ' m sorry, Elle, I just —ELLEYou're breaking up with me?!(tearing up)I thought you were proposing.WARNERProposing?! Elle, If I ' m going to be apolitician, I need to marry a Jackie, nota — Marilyn.ELLE(stunned)You're breaking up with me because I ' mtoo -- blonde?WARNERThat's not entirely —ELLEThen what? My boobs are too big?WARNER.Elle — no -- your boobs are fine —Her tears start.(CONTINUED)

9/1/2000 Revision (Blue)CONTINUED:.9.i(2)ELLESo when you said you'd always love me,you were just "dicking around"?Warner looks around the restaurant nervously.WARNERI do love you, Elle. I just can't marry you.You have no idea the pressure I ' m under. Myfamily has five generations of senators. Mybrother is in the top three at Yale Law. Hejust got engaged to a Vanderbilt, for crissakes. **Elle stares at him aghast, tears streaming down her face,then pushes her chair away from the table and walks out.WARNER (CONT'D)(continuing)It's not like I have a choice, sweetheart*He follows her out.8EXT.' STREET - NIGHT8Elle teeters down the sidewalk as best she can in her threeinch heels, sobbing. Warner pulls up alongside her in hisconvertible Saab.C'mon.No.*WARNERLet me take you home.ELLEWARNERElle — it's twenty miles back to campus.Elle stops, thinks a minute, then gets in, still crying.Catching her poofy little purse in the door. She re-opensit, yanking the purse back in. Warner pulls out.9EXT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - USC - NIGHT9Warner pulls up in front. It's a starry, romantic night.Everything should be perfect. It's not.Elle sits, still in shock, as tears continue to eke out.WARNERElle, believe me, I never expected to bedoing this, but I think it's the rightthing to do.(CONTINUED)

9/1/2000 Revision (Blue)CONTINUED:10.9ELLEHow can it be the right thing if we'renot together?WARNER .I have to think about my future. And whatpeople expect from me.ELLESo you're breaking up with me becauseyou're afraid your family won't like me?(through her tears)Everybody likes me!WARNEREast coast people are different.ELLEJust because I ' m not a Vanderbilt, all ofa sudden I ' m white trash? I grew up inBel Air, Warner! Across the street fromAaron Spelling! I think most peoplewould agree that's way better than aVanderbilt —WARNERI told you, Elle.serious.I need someone —ELLEI ' m seriously in love with you — Isn'tthat enough? He looks away.WARNERI'm sorry.She gets out of the car and drags herself up the stairs toher sorority house. When she's at the top, she turns back tolook at him. His perfect cheekbones highlighted by thestreetlamp.He meets her eyes, pained, but determined.leaving her there.10Then pulls away,INT. DELTA GAMMA HOUSE - USC - NIGHT10Elle walks down the pink and green carpeted hall, dazed andtear-stained.Margot and Serena emerge from the bathroom, post-shower.Getting ready for a night out.(CONTINUED)

109/1/2000 Revision (Blue)CONTINUED:.1:L-10MARGOTWhy are you back so soon?Serena sees Elle's bare hand.SERENADid he forget the ring?Elle silently walks into her room.worried.11.Serena and Margot follow,INT. ELLE'S DELTA GAMMA ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS11Elle slumps down in an inflatable chair, hugging her kneesand cowering in a wretched little ball. Underdog stares ather, concerned.Serena and Margot stand in the door.MARGOTElle?SERENAWhere's the Rock?ELLEWe're not engaged. .*. .*It's over!SERENA AND MARGOT*What?!*ELLEHe broke up with me!*.*Serena and Margot gasp in horror, rushing to her side.SERENAIs it a Kappa?MARGOTIt's not a Theta —ELLENo — it's just — not me.I ' m canceling the mixer.Sigma Chi.We'll blacklistELLEThank you, Serena, but I don't thinkit'll do any good.(CONTINUED)*

119/1/2000 Revision (Blue)CONTINUED:12.11SERENAWhat happened?Elle starts to lose it again.;ELLEI don't know! Everything was normal atfirst and then he said he needed someonemore —(sob-choked)Serious! .MARGOTSerious?! Who the hell does he think heis? Y ou're the most popu lar month on theUSC calendar!She points to Elle's "Miss June" page, hanging on the wall.SERENAOh, he is so over on this campus.ELLEI just don 't underst and what went wrong —MARGOTMaybe it's the grandmother.e ve r me t he r?Have youElle wipes her face.ELLELast month on his birthday. And sheliked me! She said I looked like BritneySpears. Why would you say that tosomeone you didn't like?They shrug, mystified.SERENAHow could this happen?ELLEI don't know! I don't know anything anymore!(wiping a tear)I just need to be by myself.SERENAAre you sure?Elle nods.The girls rise, hugging her.(CONTINUED)

119/1/2000 Revision (Blue)CONTINUED: (2)13.11MARGOTWe still love you.Sisters forever!ELLE(sniffling)Thank you. I love you, too.As they go, Margot looks at Serena.MARGOTOh, God. What if Josh doesn't think I ' mserious enough?.SERENAHelloo. you let him have anal sex withyou.(TV VER

THREE BLONDE CHEERLEADERS, who stop practicing their pom-pom routine to sign the card. As they finish, we follow the Card Girl out and into the room of — A BLONDE GIRL IN A TANK TOP and shorts, working out on a Stairmaster as "General Hospital" plays on a tiny TV. She signs the card while continuing to exercise. We move on, to * the room of— A BLONDE GIRL MAKING OUT WITH HER