Transcription

101 WAYSTO TEACH CHILDRENSOCIAL SKILLSA READY-TO-USE,REPRODUCIBLE ACTIVITY BOOKby Lawrence E. Shapiro, Ph.D.ISBN10: 1-56688-725-9ISBN 13: 978-1-56688-725-0All rights reserved.Printed in the United States of America. 2004 Lawrence E. ShapiroThe Bureau For At-Risk Youth grants limited permission for thecopying of this publication for individual professional use. For anyother use, no part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted inany form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, includingphotocopying, recording, or by any information storage andretrieval system, without written permission from the publisher.1-800-99-YOUTHA Brandof The Guidance ance-group.comProduct # 350809

22061 Spreads1/11/0611:02 AMPage ii

22061 Spreads1/11/0611:02 AMPage iiiTABLE OF CONTENTSNote: A reproducible worksheet follows each activity marked with anasterisk.INTRODUCTION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .VIIHOW TO USE THIS BOOK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .VIIICOMMUNICATINGIntroduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11. Something Special About Me . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .22. My Special Interests . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .33. My Values* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .44. Introducing Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .65. Remembering Names* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .76. Getting To Know Each Other . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .97. Getting To Know One Person* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .108. We Have Something In Common* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .129. Giving A Compliment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1410. Accepting A Compliment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15NONVERBAL COMMUNICATIONIntroduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1711. Tone Of Voice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1812. Voice Volume* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1913. Making Eye Contact* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2114. Facial Expressions* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2315. Gestures* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2516. Personal Space* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2717. Use Of Touch* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2918. Posture . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3119. Interpreting Body Language* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3220. Identifying Emotions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3421. How You Look . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .35iii

22061 Spreads1/11/0611:02 AMPage ivBEING PART OF A GROUPIntroduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3722. Joining A Group* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3823. Meeting New People . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4024. Asking Questions* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4125. Sharing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4326. Cooperating . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4427. Following Rules . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4528. Making Decisions Together . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4629. Being A Good Sport . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4730. Fostering Group Identity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4831. Accepting Differences* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4932. My Role Model . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5133. True Friends* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5234. Understanding Cliques . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .54EXPRESSING YOUR FEELINGSIntroduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5535. Identifying Feelings* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5636. Talking About Your Feelings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5837. I-Messages* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5938. Empathy* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6139. Mixed Emotions* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6340. Self-Talk* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6541. Self-Control . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6742. Dealing With Anger Toward Others* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6843. Dealing With Another Person’s Anger* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7044. Handling Change* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .72CARING ABOUT YOURSELF AND OTHERSIntroduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7545. Seeking Help From Adults* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7646. Understanding The Impact Of Your Behavior On Others* . . . . .7847. Understanding The Behavior Of Others . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .80iv101 WAYS TO TEACH CHILDREN SOCIAL SKILLS

22061 Spreads1/11/0611:02 AM48.49.50.51.52.53.54.55.56.57.58.59.Page vCaring About Others* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .81Showing Interest In Others* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .84Prosocial Behavior . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .86Kindness* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .87Kindness Cards . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .89Giving Advice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .90Responding To Positive Advice* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .91Being A Friend* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .93Borrowing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .95Respecting Others . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .96Offering Help To Others* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .97Depending On Others* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .99PROBLEM SOLVINGIntroduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10160. Identifying Problem-Causing Behaviors* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10261. Refocusing Your Attitude . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10462. Brainstorming . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10563. Finding Alternative Solutions* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10664. Deciding On The Best Solution . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10865. Learning From Mistakes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10966. Thinking Before Acting* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11067. Making Wise Choices* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11268. Accepting Consequences . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11469. Group Problem Solving* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .115LISTENING: A TWO-WAY STREETIntroduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11770. Hearing Or Listening? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11871. Listening During A Conversation* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11972. Listening For Information . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12173. Following Instructions* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12274. Reflective Listening . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12475. Active Listening* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12576. Positive Feedback* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .127A READY-TO-USE, REPRODUCIBLE ACTIVITY BOOKv

22061 Spreads1/11/0611:02 AMPage viSTANDING UP FOR YOURSELFIntroduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12977. Feeling Good About Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13078. Creating A Positive Attitude* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13179. Sticking Up For Yourself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13380. Pat Yourself On The Back* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13481. Avoiding Fights . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13682. Being Bullied . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13783. Dealing With Teasing* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13884. Identifying Stress . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14085. Group Pressure* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14186. Learning To Say No . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14387. Releasing Anger Safely* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14488. Rights And Responsibilities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14689. Being Assertive* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .147MANAGING CONFLICTIntroduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14990. What Is Conflict? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15091. My Personal Conflicts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15192. It Takes Two . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15293. Apologizing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15394. Knowing When To Resolve Conflicts* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15495. Resolving Conflicts Calmly . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15696. Compromising* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15797. Win-Win Solutions* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15998. Negotiating . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16199. Peer Mediation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .162100. Fair Fighting* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .163101. Positive And Negative Outcomes* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .165SKILLS INDEX . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .167vi101 WAYS TO TEACH CHILDREN SOCIAL SKILLS

22061 Spreads1/11/0611:02 AMPage viiIntroductionSome children seem to be socially adept from birth, while othersstruggle with various challenges of social acceptance. Somechildren make friends easily; others are loners. Some children haveself-control, and others have quick tempers. Some are naturalleaders, while others are withdrawn.Many aspects of social development seem to be an innate part ofa child’s temperament, but we also know that the environment canplay an important part in shaping a child’s social development. Inthe last ten years, psychologists have become increasingly awarethat social skills can, and should, be taught. Many studies haveshown that shy children can become more outgoing, aggressivechildren can learn self-control, and children who tend to be socialisolates can be taught how to make friends.There is no question that children with better social skills have asignificant advantage in life. They not only experience the rewardsof positive relationships, but they do better in school, have a betterself-image, and in general, are much more resilient as they facelife’s inevitable challenges.This book is designed to teach social skills to many different typesof children, particularly those with social problems. Often labeled ashaving a social skills deficit, these children may be consideredaggressive, socially isolated, or shy. The underlying concept is thatto proceed through the expected stages of their socialdevelopment, children should posses all the skills addressed by thisbook. Written for use by groups of children, such as a classroom ora counseling group, the activities are intended to help children inevery aspect of their social development, as they relate their peers,their parents and their teachers. While many activities can be usedwith just one child, it is hard to argue with the concept that socialskills are best learned in a social environment.A READY-TO-USE, REPRODUCIBLE ACTIVITY BOOKvii

22061 Spreads1/11/0611:02 AMPage viii

101 wa ys to teach childre n social skill s a read y-to-use , reproducible activity book by lawrence e. shapiro ,ph.d. isbn10 :1-56688-725- 9 isbn 13: 978-1-56688-725- 0